the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
