im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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