It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
