just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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