You're completely useless in the revolution.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
