Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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