I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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