put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
