I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I won't apologize to a one balled man
don't judge my taste in strippers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
