I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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