That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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