hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
