Can Purell be used as lube?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
