Small penises have feelings too.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
