I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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