Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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