Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
