Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
