hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
