you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
