my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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