Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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