Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
