Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
birth control should be required to get into college
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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