that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
