Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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