There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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