Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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