We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
