I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
