We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
