sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
