So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
