He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
