It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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