Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
