Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
