somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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