Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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