He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize