now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
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Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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