I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
