goodnight i made you a song goodbye
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
