Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
