i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize