You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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