are you still at the devil's house?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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