ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
