he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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