What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
