I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
