I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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