I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
