you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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