I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
