Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
