Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
