I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
