We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
