she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
