I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize