Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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