I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
