I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He did a backflip because drugs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
