called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
