HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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